Today, existing is painful

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Today, existing is painful
it’s not specific
I can’t explain where it hurts
or why
it’s overwhelming
and confusing
logically I can tell myself I’m ok
I’m safe
people love me
but that doesn’t make it hurt less
then the guilt comes
telling me I shouldn’t feel this way
shaming me for not “appreciating” what I have
don’t you think I know what I have!?
don’t you think I want to feel better!?
of course there are a million reasons to be happy
and people have it worse than I do
and if I could just “feel better” I would

when our heart isn’t working properly
we tell the doctors – they help us
when we break a bone, it’s clear where help is needed
if a loved one dies and we’re grieving,
love and support from friends and family flood us

so, why is it when our brain is lying to us
and confusing us and convincing us that we are not worthy
that few people notice that help is needed?
some even get annoyed
would you get annoyed while your friend is having a heart attack?
would you tell someone to “shake it off” if they broke their arm?
mental health pain is not obvious
some people hide their pain well
and never get help

but maybe if we start talking about it
talking about mental health
our brain
in the same way we talk about brushing our teeth
then those of us in pain won’t feel shame
those of us who need help, will ask for it
and everyone around will flood us with love and support


Depression is not always obvious and asking for help can be difficult. Talking about depression can be difficult, but there is hope – you are not alone. I’m including the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 – if you have this in your phone or contacts, it could be life saving to your or someone you know.

Depression can be a very painful and scary experience, if you have never felt it then you may not fully understand, but that doesn’t mean the pain isn’t real. Open – show love – and allow healing to begin. Call 734-502-7920 or email to talk to me about art therapy and how it can begin to help relieve your depression.


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

a poem about depression